I flew in from Phoenix, AZ to Buffalo, NY on July 31st so I am just about done with my quarantine. I had not been back here since December so this homecoming was fraught with concerns on how I would feel. Going home to Buffalo always floods my emotions with feelings around the loss of my husband. This was his place and I went along with buying it but living in a high rise in the city was not something I was accustomed to. We both did the back and forth to Florida so that helped me but once he was gone the memories were too powerful. Throw in the pandemic and there was no reason to return. The only downside, my family lives here or close to here so I was truly missing everyone.
It’s been a loooong 14 days. Having come from my new second home in Sedona where everything is very simple, the first thing that hit me was how much stuff I had here. If you’ve never watched the George Carlin video on stuff you should. It is so true. I decided I needed to start clearing and that was a good way to pass the time. The one thing that really stood out to me was going through my old journals. As I read some of the entries I found myself shocked that much of what I was writing years ago I could write today especially around beliefs and actions that no longer served me. Knowing there are no coincidences I really paid attention because I feel this is such a transformative time personally and on the planet. The changes I have vowed to make for years I am now taking seriously. I admit I am not comfortable with these changes. They cause me anxiety as it is so much easier going back to the way things were. But I am remembering Einstein’s definition of insanity “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” Not me not any more. Thrilled I will be getting out tomorrow I am moving forward. Releasing my past…embracing my present..and looking forward to a joyful future.