Since my husband died I have been running from place to place trying to figure out where my home is. I now know that home is not about a physical space as much as about where my heart feels the best. In the beginning of the year the beach called me and my heart opened to the sound of the waves splashing on the shore. Long walks along the water’s edge. Then the red rocks beckoned me and I called Sedona home. I felt a true healing  here. After all this is the first place I have been that my husband has not shared with me so there are no memories. As the numbers rose here I figured I would stay but this week I realized that I could not have an indefinite amount of time ahead of me before I saw my family again.
When I left my hometown of Buffalo, NY in January of 2020 little did I know that it would be a almost 8 months before I returned. I enjoy my home in Sanibel and now my second home in Sedona but my family lives in Buffalo for the most part with one daughter in Brooklyn which is close enough. When I am missing them I am used to jumping on a plane and getting my family fix for a few weeks. Corona changed all that and going back was not an option. When the opportunity to purchase a townhouse in Sedona arose at the end of May things were looking like we could see some light at the end of the tunnel. “Great my family can visit me here in Sedona.” I thought but again Corona had other ideas and I saw the numbers rising here knowing there’s no way I could expect visits any time soon. This week I took a good look at the way things were going and thought I really MISS my family. When will I see them again? It’s time to leave. Deciding how to leave wasn’t easy because flying now causes some concerns but driving for 4 days didn’t seem any safer so I chose a route I believe will be safe, will take all the precautions and plan on quarantining fro 14 days when I get to Buffalo. As I am preparing for my trip and to be honest beating myself up a bit as to where I am most at home I realized that if this virus has taught me nothing else it has taught me to follow my listen to my heart. To know that I carry my home with me wherever I go and now it is all about being surrounded by the people I love.